In approximately six weeks, my life is going to change forever, for better or for worse.
In six weeks, we move from Long Island, New York to Portland, Oregon. My boyfriend and I pack our lives up, leave our friends and families, and go west, as so many have done before us. I think of frontiers, and trails, and panning for gold. Pacific beaches, Disney Land, and mountain climbing. I can't wait to camp, to try west coast coffee, to dance barefoot. I want to practice grounding, and make my existing yoga practice into a real thing, and find a job and a life that suits me.
There is nothing like New York in the fall, I've heard. But I can't stand the cost of living, the Island, the dirty littered beaches, the rich people mentality. I want to do something new and exciting, and frankly, scary. I'm going to miss everyone I know. My family especially. But it's something we have to do. It is something that was already written in the stars millions of years before we were born.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
i miss you, like every day
i will never ever EVER get over that these amazing magazines folded. they were edgy, unapologetic, and so girl positive [at least in my memories...] i am grateful for growing up in the 90s and being super-aware of women's issues and POC issues. i was always an intersectional feminist even when i didn't know it had a name.
now as i watch A Different World and reflect back on Roseanne, The Spice Girls, Christina Aguilera's Dirrrty phase, and more, i think about how people can deny their true selves all the time, but we shine brighter when we allow ourselves to be playful and truthful.
when i have sons and daughters, I can't wait to introduce them to my world and ask them to teach me about theirs.
the above magazines are now-defunct publications that i read every month, that shaped me, that were the epitome of "cool," that taught me about magazine writing, fashion, how to think for myself, and who my role models were. today if i had one dream, it would be to bring these magazines back!!!
off to do some daydreaming now....
Monday, June 1, 2015
Today I am celebrating Being Yourself
Being yourself is one of the most courageous ways to live. If you think it's hard being yourself and there is no way you can do it, think about how much pressure you put on yourself every time you pretend to be something you're not.
On the TVLand show Younger, Liza is a forty year old woman pretending to be twenty six so she can have her dream job, her dream boyfriend, and a "second chance" at life. Yet even though she now has the job, the man, and the life she dreamed of, she feels like a fraud. Not only does she have to lie every day to the outside world, but now she has friends and a lover she can only be so real with.
It is so hard to feel like a fraud. To feel like you are nothing, you're ugly, you're stupid, you're just pretending to be something you're not. For so many of us, myself included a lot of the time, looking in the mirror is a chore. Depression, anxiety, and Impostor Syndrome are real things. You don't feel connected to yourself or the world around you. And even if you remember that the times you've been the happiest were the times you let go, accepted yourself, and lived harmoniously, you just can't shake off the insecurities.
I think the first step is opening your eyes to realizing that everyone can be captured by these feelings and thoughts even if just for a moment. Even the most confident, gorgeous person in the world, someone who literally glows from within, can wake up and feel ugly sometimes. It's so easy to throw yourself under the bus. It's like when you see the same friend every day, and maybe their quirks become irksome - you inhabit your own body and mind 24/7 and you can irk yourself. But it's important to remember:
No one else can ever be you. You are loved. You have something to offer this world. You can do this. You are beautiful, and smart, and kind, and most importantly, you are unique. A fingerprint that cannot be replicated.
Don't let yourself get too down.
On the TVLand show Younger, Liza is a forty year old woman pretending to be twenty six so she can have her dream job, her dream boyfriend, and a "second chance" at life. Yet even though she now has the job, the man, and the life she dreamed of, she feels like a fraud. Not only does she have to lie every day to the outside world, but now she has friends and a lover she can only be so real with.
It is so hard to feel like a fraud. To feel like you are nothing, you're ugly, you're stupid, you're just pretending to be something you're not. For so many of us, myself included a lot of the time, looking in the mirror is a chore. Depression, anxiety, and Impostor Syndrome are real things. You don't feel connected to yourself or the world around you. And even if you remember that the times you've been the happiest were the times you let go, accepted yourself, and lived harmoniously, you just can't shake off the insecurities.
I think the first step is opening your eyes to realizing that everyone can be captured by these feelings and thoughts even if just for a moment. Even the most confident, gorgeous person in the world, someone who literally glows from within, can wake up and feel ugly sometimes. It's so easy to throw yourself under the bus. It's like when you see the same friend every day, and maybe their quirks become irksome - you inhabit your own body and mind 24/7 and you can irk yourself. But it's important to remember:
No one else can ever be you. You are loved. You have something to offer this world. You can do this. You are beautiful, and smart, and kind, and most importantly, you are unique. A fingerprint that cannot be replicated.
Don't let yourself get too down.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
A Day in the Life: New York City Edition
Yesterday was fantastic. It is not often that I have an amazing day from start to finish (who really does?) but I have not one single complaint.
We took the LIRR to Penn Station and walked to Best Bagels & Coffee. The coffee wasn't the BEST but it was pretty good - much better than the deli/bagel store coffee on Long Island. The bagels, however, were extremely bagelicious. We stopped to eat them on the sidewalk and a Monk came up to us, giggly, and blessed us.
Then it was off to BookCon! We were there, of course, for BJ Novak's interview with Mindy Kaling! If you want to know what they talked about, here is a Marie Claire article that sums it up. Yes, Mindy and BJ are writing a joint book. However, the panel was about Kaling's upcoming set of essays, Why Not Me? Why Not Me? asks two things simultaneously: Why not me, as in, why haven't I had this amazing opportunity [like marriage and kids] as well as who says I can't be CEO, why NOT me?
The only free items we received were from that event. Kaling had excerpts from her new book handed out as well as little pins! They were the most adorable pins I've ever received in my life!
After the conversation we headed to One Book: From Author to Agent to Editor. This was an inside look at the way these unique relationships come together to create a book baby! As an aspiring author AND editor, it was extremely interesting and essential to me. The author wrote a 350 page book, which her agent asked her to pare down to 150 pages, where, they found, the actual story. The author keeps a word document of all that is deleted of her writing, and knows that the ends justified the means. The agent was satisfied with the more concise product and shopped it to the editor, who helped turn it into the book it is today, The Beautiful Bureaucrat.
The last Panel we went to was Girls Online/Girls IRL: Young Women in the New Media. Here, Tavi Gevinson, the founder of Rookie, as well as the founder of Hello Giggles, and a contributor to each panel, spoke about what it means to be a young woman in media today. I didn't get to ask a question at the panel because time ran out, but if I were to ask a question, I would have asked "How do you command respect as a young woman, when people want to 'yes sweetie' you to death?"
After the Book Con, we headed to our favorite NYC dinner spot, Hoomoos. Danny recommends the traditional Falafel, and I recommend the tuna sandwich (with french fries!). This Mediterranean treat is honestly the most refreshing place to eat, and like I implied, we eat there as often as we can. We've spent nights craving it.
After Hoomoos, we headed over to Paper Source. If I wasn't in a crunch for money, I would have bought stamps, paper, books, Kate Spade Stationary... you know, just the essentials. I will be sure to check this place out when my wallet allows!
Then I found Once Upon a Tart! I have had cold brew before, but OMG let me tell you, I would go there ANY DAY, ANY TIME for coffee. It was THE BOMB. I cannot even explain! You just have to try it for yourself.
After a sit in Washington Sq. Park, we headed back home. It was such a magical day, and I recommend going to any place we went to! The energy in NYC was so magical, I felt like I was floating. I didn't care that I was sweating or thirsty or tired. I just felt enlightened and inspired.
Enjoy this new Bonnie McKee song!
Here's to hoping for another exciting day, all part of loving and living life.
Erin
We took the LIRR to Penn Station and walked to Best Bagels & Coffee. The coffee wasn't the BEST but it was pretty good - much better than the deli/bagel store coffee on Long Island. The bagels, however, were extremely bagelicious. We stopped to eat them on the sidewalk and a Monk came up to us, giggly, and blessed us.
Then it was off to BookCon! We were there, of course, for BJ Novak's interview with Mindy Kaling! If you want to know what they talked about, here is a Marie Claire article that sums it up. Yes, Mindy and BJ are writing a joint book. However, the panel was about Kaling's upcoming set of essays, Why Not Me? Why Not Me? asks two things simultaneously: Why not me, as in, why haven't I had this amazing opportunity [like marriage and kids] as well as who says I can't be CEO, why NOT me?
The only free items we received were from that event. Kaling had excerpts from her new book handed out as well as little pins! They were the most adorable pins I've ever received in my life!
After the conversation we headed to One Book: From Author to Agent to Editor. This was an inside look at the way these unique relationships come together to create a book baby! As an aspiring author AND editor, it was extremely interesting and essential to me. The author wrote a 350 page book, which her agent asked her to pare down to 150 pages, where, they found, the actual story. The author keeps a word document of all that is deleted of her writing, and knows that the ends justified the means. The agent was satisfied with the more concise product and shopped it to the editor, who helped turn it into the book it is today, The Beautiful Bureaucrat.
The last Panel we went to was Girls Online/Girls IRL: Young Women in the New Media. Here, Tavi Gevinson, the founder of Rookie, as well as the founder of Hello Giggles, and a contributor to each panel, spoke about what it means to be a young woman in media today. I didn't get to ask a question at the panel because time ran out, but if I were to ask a question, I would have asked "How do you command respect as a young woman, when people want to 'yes sweetie' you to death?"
After the Book Con, we headed to our favorite NYC dinner spot, Hoomoos. Danny recommends the traditional Falafel, and I recommend the tuna sandwich (with french fries!). This Mediterranean treat is honestly the most refreshing place to eat, and like I implied, we eat there as often as we can. We've spent nights craving it.
After Hoomoos, we headed over to Paper Source. If I wasn't in a crunch for money, I would have bought stamps, paper, books, Kate Spade Stationary... you know, just the essentials. I will be sure to check this place out when my wallet allows!
Then I found Once Upon a Tart! I have had cold brew before, but OMG let me tell you, I would go there ANY DAY, ANY TIME for coffee. It was THE BOMB. I cannot even explain! You just have to try it for yourself.
After a sit in Washington Sq. Park, we headed back home. It was such a magical day, and I recommend going to any place we went to! The energy in NYC was so magical, I felt like I was floating. I didn't care that I was sweating or thirsty or tired. I just felt enlightened and inspired.
Enjoy this new Bonnie McKee song!
Here's to hoping for another exciting day, all part of loving and living life.
Erin
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